My Insecurities and How I Overcame Them

18 Feb

Before I start I have one article I would like everyone who plays Candy Crush Saga to consider. As many of you know I wrote, Why You Should Boycott King and Candy Crush Saga, less than a month ago, and now I have another reason to encourage it. Please read this: CandySwipe Open Letter to King regarding trademark. We cannot sit back and allow corporations to take over the little guy in any field, especially artistic ones. Thank you for taking a minute out of your day.

After my previous post about my mother’s death affecting my feelings about graduation, I received many heartfelt messages here and in my email. I cannot express how much I appreciate your encouragement and how you took a minute to share your personal story in order to help me. I am always blown away by how lovely everyone is. Thank you.

You are the single reason I decided I had to write this post today. 

Everyone has insecurities. It happens. It’s natural. We’re human, after all. And we live in a world that is often setting up expectations full of judgement. I am no different than anyone else. I have had my list of insecurities. I don’t normally do this, and I probably won’t do it again for a long time, but I thought I would share some facts about myself that I used to struggle with that I haven’t shared before. Again, this is in the hopes of helping others embrace themselves, especially those parts of you that you cannot change. 

1. My handwriting is horrible – seriously horrible. 

I was originally left-handed, but I now write with my right hand. Before this switch, my handwriting was normal. Now, I can’t even read it sometimes. I often get told I “write like a boy” – which, in itself, I now think is wrong.

But what’s the reason? When I was eleven, I was showing someone how to shoot a basketball in my morning gym class. That’s when I tripped, and my hand slammed into the floor. At the time, I didn’t know it, but I had broken my growth plate. When I told the school nurse I was hurt, they sent me back to class because they thought I was trying to skip a math test. I didn’t go to the hospital until nine that evening. Consequensly, I did permanent damage, and my right arm is now significantly longer than my left arm. Instead of handwriting, I definitely type everything up. But I’m not mad about the situation. The nurse was doing her job, and things happen. Mistakes happen. I embrace it. I learned how to write with my right hand, I use black, G-2 pens to cheer myself up (because those pens are lovely) and I often show off my shorter arm as a party joke. When it hurts, (because it often hurts), I remind myself that I can always exercise it to make it stronger. I also remind myself that there are people who don’t have hands at all. I am lucky that I can still type with it, that I still have it, and knowing how lucky I am has allowed me to stay positive about physical therapy with my hand and overall arm strength.

2. I have bad depth perception.

This is me, and I love being me.

This is me, and I love being me. I also love putting my hair on top of my head like a bird nest.

Believe it or not, my eyes are totally different sizes. It’s true, and before you think this is normal, it is significant (although most cannot tell until I point it out.) I actually have depth perception problems from it, which I was diagnosed with my freshman year in college. They have to test my eyes every time I get a driver’s license renewed. Perhaps this is why I’m so clumsy. (I hit everything.) But I can laugh at myself. Learning to laugh at myself is pretty easy and quite enjoyable. I cannot change the size of my eyes or how I physically see the world, but I can change how I mentally see the world. I can have a positive attitude about the world.

3. I talk funny. (I say “funny” because it often makes people laugh.) 

I was born in Allentown, Pennsylvania. By the time I was fifteen, I had also lived in Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Georgia, Kansas, and Missouri. This has caused some confusion in my speech patterns and idioms, often causing me to stutter. I have a lot of things backwards, and my accents come out together – at the same time, I can sound like a southern belle that once lived in Canada (mainly because my father lived in Canada, and I’ve picked up his phrases as well as the ones I received from Green Bay, Wisconsin.) Saying “turn on the garburator” at a party isn’t understood at an American house-warming party, but I sure love explaining it. Those moments that I have to take time to explain what I am saying have now become moments that allow me to explain my background and how it has shaped me into the individual that I am today. And I love who I am today, stuttering or not.

4. My eyebrows are REALLY far apart

I’ve even had someone email me this statement before, like they thought they were helping me from over tweezing. Believe it or not, I was born that way, and I know my left eyebrow sits halfway over my eye. I got the look from my grandfather, and you know what? My grandfather was a pretty awesome person. So good for my spaced out eyebrows. They show off my family history. They show off the genes that also make me who I am. They remind me of family.

5. I am really pale, and I don’t tan…or burn.

I swear. I went to Puerto Rico, barely used sunscreen, and nothing happened. I just don’t’ react – although I can admit that I got extremely burned once in my life. (And that was not fun!) When I was a teenager, I hated how pale I was because it was “cool” to be tan, and everyone thought I stayed inside all of the time. (Which I do now.) But you know what? I like my skin. I like how pale I am because it is me. I don’t care if I glow under black lights. I like who I am, and – again – it’s my Welsh roots. It’s also something I share with my late mother (as well as my crazy, curly hair that I used to hide because straight hair was “cool.”) I should be proud, and I am. Just for clarification reasons, because I do not want this to be taken the wrong way: I have nothing against being tan or any other color for that matter. This is simply me embracing who I am. I am not, in any way, trying to encourage others to be pale like me. Physical appearances do not matter, and that is the ultimate point. 

Now that I shared a few of my previous insecurities, I wanted to add one thing:

I am genuinely a happy person, but there are days that I regress, and that’s okay. I look at insecurities the same way. Even after overcoming them, you might have an insecure moment or two or hundreds over a lifetime, but that’s okay. Just try to remember what’s really important – and that’s what’s on the INSIDE and what resides in your ACTIONS. 

I could can cry about my eyebrows or I can learn how to make them do the wave and laugh at my goofy expressions. I can complain about my injuries like my left hand, but I can also remember that I have other parts of my body that work just fine that others might not even have. A doctor can give me plastic surgery on my body, but only I can change my mind and my heart. And your mind and your heart will guide you, aid you, and embrace you.

No matter what, you can love yourself, and love overcomes everything else.

P.S. I’m still accepting reviewers of Seconds Before Sunrise (book 2 of The Timely Death Trilogy.) If you’re interested in reading my novels, please send me an email at shannonathompson@aol.com. I would love to hear from you. The first one is also on sale for only $3.89, and I would be more than happy to hear your thoughts.

~SAT

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26 Responses to “My Insecurities and How I Overcame Them”

  1. Human Relationships February 18, 2014 at 12:51 am #

    Great job on writing, creating, and sharing. Do you have a picture of yourself when you were 2 years old?Please share, would love to see your baby face!

  2. Katia Filippova February 18, 2014 at 2:12 am #

    Hi Shannon, this is such a wonderful and inspiring post and you are so brave to share this with us.
    I think we often look at our own “pecularities” with a magnifying glass and think that they are so weird and horrible while in reality most of the time people don’t even notice and definitely don’t care.
    So as you said, we would be happier changing our own attitudes because they are the only things really that we have the power to change.
    Thanks for a great post this morning, a nice way to start my working day!

    • Shannon A Thompson February 18, 2014 at 6:44 pm #

      Thank you for reading and commenting! I agree. We definitely pay more attention to what others might not even notice, let alone care about. (Kind of like my eyes. No one notices one is bigger until I show them. Same with my arms.)
      Having a positive attitude is so important.
      ~SAT

  3. Dixie Blue Moon February 18, 2014 at 2:46 am #

    Reading you this morning was like remembering a sleepover with a new friend and us sharing all our deepest secrets. Thank you for allowing us to get to know you. Oh, and by the way, you are a stunningly beautiful young woman.

    • Shannon A Thompson February 18, 2014 at 6:45 pm #

      Aw! What a description on how this post felt for you. Thank you for your kind words.
      ~SAT

  4. Harliqueen February 18, 2014 at 4:50 am #

    A very honest post, it’s nice to get to know other bloggers :)

  5. Paul Handover February 18, 2014 at 7:46 am #

    With regard to your concern about your handwriting, have you considered a fountain pen?

    More generally, our insecurities are fed by ‘challenges’ that we experience as a child. For those that may wonder if there are unresolved trauma from previous times, I can recommend the book Waking the Tiger by Peter A. Levine. (I have no connection to the author.)

    • Shannon A Thompson February 18, 2014 at 6:46 pm #

      Oh, using any type of writing device doesn’t make it better lol I love G-2s because the ink is beautiful to me.
      I have heard of that novel. It would be interesting to go back and try to pinpoint what insecurities come from if there was one particular experience that caused them.
      ~SAT

  6. theipc February 18, 2014 at 9:14 am #

    I think you’re kind of awesome, actually : )

  7. amberskyef February 18, 2014 at 9:23 am #

    My handwriting is bad, too. My 5th grade teacher tried SO HARD to help me write better, and so did I, but I couldn’t, for whatever reason. I’m not insecure about my handwriting. As long as people can read it, it’s whatever for me. I learned that beyond elementary school, teachers really don’t care how you write, as long as they can read it.

    I’m also pale, too, but I love being pale. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer paleness over tans anyway. Then again, some people can work tans pretty well. I’m have strawberry-blonde hair. I couldn’t work one, even if I went and got a spray tan.

    I have three insecurities. One is my acne. It’s not even the fear that people think I’m ugly. Even when I’ve had a mile breakout people still call me beautiful. I just hate acne, especially because I’ve lived with it since I was 9. Another insecurity is that the only reason I’m as confident as I am in my looks is because of others’ validation. I was never called pretty throughout school. Not at all. And now suddenly I am, with or without make-up. I used to wear foundation, but I don’t do that anymore. Depending on my mood, I might not wear any make-up at all. Sometimes I’ll wear blush or eye make-up, but I don’t really hide my face anymore. Another insecurity is my fear of becoming overweight. Gaining weight, too, I think. I don’t think I’m fat at all. In fact, I’ve been thin throughout my entire life that I can’t see myself being any other way. I’m praying I have my uncle’s metabolism. It would, frankly, be devastating for me if I started packing on the pounds, for whatever reason.

    • Shannon A Thompson February 18, 2014 at 6:48 pm #

      Thank you for sharing your insecurities and story, Amber! I can relate to the high school part. (Never being called cute, but then after school all of a sudden I was hearing it.) I suppose that makes us late bloomers in terms of what society calls it, but it doesn’t matter to me. :D As long as I feel comfortable, I am happy.
      ~SATT

  8. Ensis February 18, 2014 at 9:54 am #

    You know, we blame Hollywood for the impossible beauty standards, but we’re the ones who keep buying their shit.
    Good post.

  9. debyfredericks February 18, 2014 at 10:40 am #

    King Games are off my list now. Thanks for the info on their negative business practices.

    • Shannon A Thompson February 18, 2014 at 6:48 pm #

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read the article about King! It’s a very important issue.
      ~SAT

      • debyfredericks February 18, 2014 at 9:20 pm #

        I can’t stand how some companies bully the competition through unreasonable licensing and copyrighting things that existed before them. I mean, copyrighting “candy?” It’s outrageous and unfair.

  10. heatherbcosta February 18, 2014 at 2:50 pm #

    Great post, Shannon!

    Thank you for reminding us all that is ok to be who we truly are and that we don’t need to conform to other people’s perception of what is ‘cool’ or acceptable. I think all of us as human beings are pretty damn cool and that we should all be a little easier on ourselves and our perceived ‘flaws’.

    Heather xxx

    • Shannon A Thompson February 18, 2014 at 6:49 pm #

      Thank you for reading and commenting. I agree! We are all pretty damn cool. :D
      ~SAT

  11. Marie Anne February 19, 2014 at 9:24 am #

    Thanks for sharing your insecurities with us, it sure takes a lot of guts! I’ve always thought being able to laugh at yourself is important; you’d drive yourself crazy if you took everything seriously. And at the end of the day, something silly and embarrassing that you did likely isn’t going to be remembered by anyone who witnessed it :)

    Also, G-2s are the most amazing writing device EVER. I remember learning shortly after I met my boyfriend that he always kept one in his pocket. It was a, “That’s your favorite pen?! That’s MY favorite pen!” moment. It was meant to be.

  12. Elaine Jeremiah February 20, 2014 at 1:10 pm #

    Thank you so much for being so open and honest about yourself Shannon. It helps us all to remember that it’s OK to be different and have little quirks about ourselves.

  13. InfoJunkie February 22, 2014 at 3:56 am #

    Reblogged this on InfoJunkie and commented:
    This is such a great post! And it comes during a time when I really need this extra push. Since the point of starting my blog was to overcome a hurdle, I can relate. We all have insecurities and as Shannon pointed out, that’s okay. Thank you, Shannon, for sharing your experiences!

  14. Rebecca Meyer February 22, 2014 at 2:11 pm #

    I love your honesty and openness in this post. It’s refreshing to read. We all have our insecurities, and accepting them is what makes us feel happier in our daily lives.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] talked about my previous insecurities before in My Insecurities and How I Overcame Them, but showing how I overcame them – I  feel – is the most important message. Finding […]

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