Tag Archives: night terrors

#SATurday: Turning Dreams into Stories

4 Apr

#SATurday: Turning Dreams into Stories

I hate alarm clocks. I don’t hate many things, but an alarm clock is one of them. Most of the time, I wake up without one – I have my entire life – and I truly believe it’s because my brain is wired to dislike the act of waking up to sudden (and normally blaring) music. It doesn’t matter if it’s my favorite song. I will end up hating the song if it wakes me up every morning. I wish I could like it – I do. The practical use of an alarm isn’t even debatable. Even though I wake up most mornings, I still have those instances where alarm clocks have come through for me and saved me from accidentally sleeping through my day. (Although…accidentally sleeping through my day sounds pretty nice right now…as long as I didn’t have any responsibilities…which I do…so that accident would be pretty awful, but the sleeping part sounds nice.)

Garfield

Garfield

Who doesn’t love sleep? It’s a magical thing. I used to hate that, though, too. If you’ve read any of my interviews, then you probably already know that I had night terrors as a child. And, occasionally, I still do. I also have vivid dreams and nightmares, but I’m finding more often than not that many writers do. Perhaps it’s our overactive imaginations. Perhaps the dreams caused our overactive imaginations. What comes first, the imagination or the dreams?

For me, I believe my dreams came first. Despite the fact that my parents rarely allowed me to watch TV (and had very strict rules about what I was allowed to watch), I had violent dreams. Terrifying dreams. Dreams that hologrammed themselves into the real world, even after I woke up. The first one I recall involved a cheetah. It chased me through a neighborhood (not a jungle), and right before it caught me, I woke up. But instead of my dream ending, I would still see it – lying in wait, sitting at the edge of my bed, half-hanging off the end. I remember its beady eyes blinking, reflecting light in my dark room.

Much to my dismay (and probably my parents’ as well), it kept repeating, and I was losing all hope until art class one day. I can’t say what grade I was in. I can’t recall the teacher’s name. I can’t even – positively – say it was art class. I only remember the art supplies surrounding us, so that’s why I assume my location, but the teacher was telling us about nightmares. And, again, I can’t remember why, but I do remember focusing, listening to her every word.

Her nephew had a reoccurring dream. Every night, a lion chased him through the jungle. I was envious his dreams took him to exotic places – unlike mine – but his lion did something my cheetah didn’t. It ate him.

Now – it didn’t eat him the first time. Our teacher explained that the nephew kept having the dreams until he consciously decided he would stop running in his dreams, turn around, and face the lion. He did. And the lion ate him…And the lion never came again.

I went home, thinking I had finally found the solution to my own nightmare. I was truly excited, ready to be eaten, and I went to bed that night with new hope. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. I stopped, the cheetah killed me (I assume), and I woke up only for the next morning to have it happened again. My dream repeated itself for a few weeks. (Or maybe it was only few days – time is longer the younger you are). But it repeated, nevertheless, and I never defeated it like my art teacher’s nephew did. Instead, my cheetah slowly faded away, replaced by a T-Rex, then replaced by a murderer.

I don’t believe my dreams have ever stopped. It’s every other night that I dream of something violent, and on rare occasions, I can turn one of my dreams into a story. I can meet a character or see a situation or visit a new world – although I have yet to visit a jungle – and I can take readers there by sharing words on paper.

Those dreams aren’t so scary anymore. In fact, overtime, I think I learned to embrace them and learn from them and explore them and create with them – like my dreams were the real art class all along. And who wants an alarm clock to go off in the middle of class?

~SAT

P.S. If you missed it, here is my live interview with Jonas Lee. We spoke about knives, coffee, Clue, and writing tips.

And just to REALLY switch your Saturday up, I have finally returned to my YouTube Channel – Coffee and Cats – so feel free to ask any question on the video and I’ll be answering them during my next video.

#SATurday: What Scares Us

10 Jan

#SATurday: What Scares Us

At night – more accurately early morning – I crawl into bed to sleep, and my little (Okay. He’s fat) cat companion follows me. We cuddle up to one another, and I pretend to sleep. I say ‘pretend’ because this is the eternal mode of an insomniac.

If I had to describe this bedtime ritual more accurately, I would have to explain how I curl up on my left side – facing the window in case I get bored – and Bogart the black cat stretches out behind me, paws pressed against my back. He falls asleep quickly – with the kind of timing I envy – and I only know this because of his feet.

It starts slowly at first. His bottom paws puts pressure on my lower back, and then, his front paws twitch. He sometimes whines, but not every time. When he does whine, it’s not very long until the pressure increases. His paws move and tap and push and I know he is dreaming.

He is running.

My panther.

My panther.

Still, I can’t exactly ask what he’s dreaming about. Since he’s been an indoor cat most of his life, I often wonder why he is running, but I mainly wonder if he is running to something or away from something. If he’s anything like me – and I’m told pets are often like their owners – he’s probably running away from something. It might even be a Jurassic Park dinosaur. (I will probably write about this phobia of mine in the future.) But it does sadden me to think he might have a phobia of his own, one he can’t even talk about. Although he often startles out of his sleep with a loud meow, I can’t imagine it’s the same comfort I got when I was a child since I could explain a nightmare to a parent or a friend. He’ll definitely never get the advice I received from my mom:

Turn your nightmares into stories. If they don’t make sense, explain them. If they scare you, become the heroine and face them. If they defeat you, let them but grow from them – a.k.a. get them next time. But most of all, embrace them. And if you fail, it’s okay that you ran. In the end, you could’ve run so far you ended up in a new world entirely – filled with adventures you would’ve never experienced otherwise. Running could’ve put you exactly where you were supposed to be all along.

What scares us can be the very thing pushing us to truly live.

~SAT on #SATurday

P.S. Want your OWN photo of Bogart the cat? Donate today and get a custom photo, taken just for you, of this furry feline. (He loves modeling.)

bodonate

Author Announcements

12 Jun

Today is a busy day for me! I normally only blog every other day, but I had to share a few fantastic announcements with everyone. If only I had an awesome podium to stand behind and a little microphone attached to my head. (Sorry – I’ve been watching a lot of TED talks recently…Wait. I’m not sorry. No one should ever be sorry for watching TED talks.)

Moving right along…

First, Tony Jaa – martial artist and actor – deemed me quote worthy. VERY quote worthy. Me. Little ol’ silly me. The amount of blushing my pale face fell victim to was rather embarrassing, but all that blushing is my way of saying thank you soooo much.

tony

and it continued into this morning:

mymorning

If that isn’t enough, Seconds Before Sunrise is officially available on Amazon and Smashwords (and everywhere else.) But you can buy it for only $0.99 by using this code –> BW58C <–  on Smashwords. If you prefer Amazon, don’t worry! It’s only $3.89 there.

nominee-award-february14_(3)I also received an award from Noveltunity – a worldwide eBook club that exclusively features new or undiscovered writers. Every month, they hold a contest for “Book of the Month” and Minutes Before Sunset was in the top 10, so I was awarded nominee status! How neat is that? I definitely recommend this website. In fact, I have a code for you to join. Normally, you have to pay, but with this code –> AESNOV30 <– you get %40 off. Oh, how I love the sweet combinations of letters and numbers that make up lovely codes.  

This is also my 300th blog post: (because this blog is my life.)

300

As a special thank you, I am also sharing something deeply personal about The Timely Death Trilogy, but I will be using an excerpt to explain it:

Below this explanation is an early excerpt from Seconds Before Sunrise. This is from chapter two. It’s told by Jessica, and it is the first dream sequence we see in Seconds Before Sunrise. But the reader knows something Jessica doesn’t because of Minutes Before Sunset – this “dream sequence” isn’t a dream at all. It’s a memory. We see different flashes of separate scenes from book 1, but what you don’t know is that this dream is entirely based off of one of the real dreams I had that inspired The Timely Death Trilogy. In fact, the first dream I ever had was of me running through the forest behind my house. During the dream, I scratched my arm on a thorn bush (which existed in real life) and I woke up with a massive scratch on my arm. Looking back on it, I probably did it to myself. This is one of the reasons I say I “suffer” from nightmares and night terrors in my interviews. I often hurt myself in my sleep. But I’m sharing it to explain why I had moments where I truly contemplated my sanity, moments where I lost myself to the thoughts and questions of “is this really happening?” And now those moment are books, and one of those moments is right here for you to read:

 …

            “Run.”

The sudden voice was barely audible. My heart was racing as fast as my legs were. I leapt over torn up brush and twisted past trees at speeds I couldn’t comprehend. The darkness blended together.

The ground was rigid beneath my feet, and I stumbled as I looked over my shoulder. They were after us. I could feel them, their heat and their strength. The suffocating air was filled with electricity, and it burned against my exposed flesh. As suddenly as it had touched me, it was around my neck.

Her black eyes were boundless, and I lost myself in them before she tossed my body. I flew over her shoulder, easily and helplessly, and collided with wet leaves. My limbs flayed, and I clawed at the ground, attempting to stop my momentum − but it was too late.

My head cracked against a rock, and the sound shuddered through my body. Light consumed my vision before it was replaced with blackness, and then I was awake again.

I saw his eyes first, crystal-blue but clouded with concern. When he met my gaze, he dropped the cold rag he had brushed across my face. The condensation awoke my consciousness.

I gasped, trying to sit up, but his hand pressed my shoulders down. My body reacted to his touch, and his fingers lingered as if he couldn’t let go.

He spoke, but I didn’t hear him, and time blurred like the night had moments before. He moved too quickly, and I couldn’t follow him. He was by the window, and my legs burned as if I’d stood moments before. But I was still in bed, and he spoke by the window.

I couldn’t hear him, but I knew what was happening. He was leaving, and he wouldn’t be back. He disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and I screamed.

I hope you will take a moment to check out Minutes Before Sunset and Seconds Before Sunrise today. I won’t ask you to buy it or review it or spread the word about it. I just want to share my words with you – I am unbelievably grateful to be living my dream every day because you – my dear reader – are the reason I can even write on this blog at (currently) 1:17 a.m. on a Thursday since I’m too excited about the eBook release to sleep. Feel free to send me an email to say “hi” or stop by the eBook extravaganza party tonight to interview me live. I will be there. And I will be smiling. (Not in that creepy, Cheshire cat sort of a way, but in that … wait, no. I like the creepy smile. I’ll be smiling like that.)

Bogart and I send our love,

~SAT

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