I meant to write this last month, but alas, newborns require a lot of love (and attention). You may have already seen on my social medias, but…
Baby girl arrived in October!
Her name is Winsloe, and she is such delight. We are very excited to have her here, healthy and smiling. (She’s actually 5 weeks old already!) That said, I’m on maternity leave until January, which is probably when my regular blogging will begin again. I’ve been spending any free time I have working on my next novel for my agent (and I’m already 6,000 words in!). Super excited about that. I’ll also be updating this website’s template soon since its current template has been retired. But maybe, just maybe I’ll still do my end-of-year December posts. I’ll just have to find a middle-of-the-night baby feeding time that works. (Like I did with this very post!)
I am so excited to announce that I am now represented by Marietta Zacker at Gallt & Zacker Literary Agency!
From the beginning, Marietta understood the importance of my middle grade novel-in-verse about losing my mom to the opioid crisis when I was 11, and I cannot wait for us to share it with the world.
This is the most personal story I could’ve written. It’s also one I promised myself I would write when I was 11 and couldn’t find a children’s book about the unique grief that follows the loss of a loved one (especially a parent) from drug abuse.
Unfortunately, since my mom’s death, the opioid crisis has only grown. (In fact, deaths have more than quadrupled.) And it’s expected to continue to rise. Now, maybe one day soon, kids like me will have that book that shows they’re not alone. My story has a champion.
If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, you can reach out to SAMHSA: it’s a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service.
Also, I wanted to give a shoutout to my friends who helped me with this novel: Sandra Proudman, Angela Cervantes, Natasha Hanova, Vicki Dixon, and Lisa! Also, my Sanity group for keeping me sane: Tiffany White, Elizabeth Bane, Sarah Kaminski, and Jessica Conoley! And of course, thank yous go out to everyone on this website as well! Y’all have cheered me on since the beginning.
If you’re interested in a How I Got My Agent post, I will most likely be sharing one in the future! But I am expecting to give birth to a baby later this week, so I am still on maternity leave and will likely be on it for a while.
That said, I recently wrote some blog posts about querying you can check out in the meantime:
P.S. I’m hoping to be back from maternity leave in mid-December. In the meantime, definitely connect with me on Facebook,Instagram, and Twitter. I tend to pop up there sooner. Though, I’ll probably pop back here to share a baby picture or two in the near future!
It’s time! My baby is due in a week, so I am logging out for the time being. I hope to be back on my regular blogging schedule in time for my yearly reflection posts in December. (Though I may pop in before then with a baby picture or two. Maybe even an announcement! *wink wink*)
P.S. My website template was recently retired, so there’s some features that are slowly disintegrating before my eyes. (*sobs internally*) Obviously, now is not the best time to update everything, but I will be doing an update before I get back on my regular blogging schedule. Please forgive weirdness in the meantime.
I am 37 weeks pregnant, which means I am full-term, but have a few weeks to go and, honestly, I didn’t want to wait any longer to write this blog post. Why? Because I’m tired. If I wait any longer, I’m not sure I’ll be able to get the blog post out on time. (Not to mention if baby girl decides to show up early.)
So here we are—pregnant in the third trimester, working full-time and chasing the writing dream on the side.
Admittedly, sleepiness is a near constant thing at the moment. Though I’ve had a really easy pregnancy, the third trimester has certainly brought its challenges. Mostly with discomfort and insomnia. (I swear I can’t get any bigger. Right?!) With all the weight gain, I started experiencing pain in my right foot and left hip, and sleeping is a nightmare. (But it’s going to be worse with a newborn. Right?!)
I have to admit that avoiding all the negativity has become a priority. I asked for positive newborn stories on my Twitter, and that’s been my bit of sunshine every week.
To help even more, I decided to use up some PTO to work four-day work weeks during my last month. That way, we can spend the extra day meal prepping and getting the last details of our house together. If I have extra time after that, I’ve been pursuing writing.
Writing-wise, things have been good! I currently have six fulls pending with agents, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that something pans out one of these days. In fact, overall, my querying journey has been really fun. I even had a great phone call with an agent about my verse novel. That said, I couldn’t help but start calculating the next few weeks in my head.
If someone offered right now, I’d have two weeks to talk to the other agents and make a decision…and baby girl is due the very next week. What happens if she shows up early? What happens if an agent emails me while I’m recovering from labor and I miss it? What if they rescind their offer? What if…?
I’m terrified of missing my window.
I know my writing life isn’t over once I have a baby, but I confess that I was really hoping to have an agent secured by the time baby girl arrived. I think it would’ve given me peace of mind knowing that the next steps in my writing career are already underfoot (rather than knowing that I have a longer way to go after recovery).
No matter. I’ve been doing my best, and that’s all I can do.
Other than querying, I finished polishing my historical fantasy, and I’ve started getting my to-query list together (just in case my verse novel doesn’t pan out). I may even send a few queries out soon. I wanted somewhere to be creative, too. (Mostly so that I had pages to send to my monthly writers’ group.) I opened up my dark academia monster WIP that I had previously frozen in August of 2021 and got to work. I am now a few chapters away from THE END. I’m pretty proud of that.
I’m also really happy about the baby’s room. I was lucky enough to have two baby showers–one at work and one with family/friends. It was so nice to see everyone again and to celebrate baby girl’s impending arrival. We now have everything we need, and I think I feel as prepared as any first-time parent can feel. The reality of baby girl is really setting in. I’m both excited and terribly nervous, but I’m mostly looking forward to getting to know her personality, watching her discover the world, and being part of her life as she grows. (Also, sleeping on my stomach again. I’m looking forward to that.)
One of these days I’m sure I’ll start blogging about writing as a working mom.
Only a few years ago, it was a huge no-no to talk openly about querying while querying. Sure, you could DM your closest writing friends, but tweeting about it openly? Hard nope. It was seen as unprofessional, a sign that the author wasn’t able to keep a level head when negotiations are taking place. You mostly learned about other writers’ querying journeys through friendship or by reading the “How I Got My Agent” posts after the author had signed with someone. Nowadays, though? A lot more writers are talking about their querying journey while they are currently in the trenches.
But should you?
This is a hotly debated topic. Mostly because there are two types of writers in the trenches at any given time:
The writer who has been around for a while and remembers how strongly it was frowned upon. They mean well when they tell other writers not to do it. I mean, why would you write a novel, polish it, and get a query package together just to ruin your chances by oversharing (and perhaps appearing less appealing to agents)?
The newer writer (or new-to-querying writer) who is pushing back against long-held rules written by…wait, who did come up with these rules? This group also means well. They often believe a lack of transparency is keeping other writers in the dark and therefore perpetuating nefarious behavior that should be called out.
Personally, I think both of these groups are right in their own ways.
There are pros and cons to sharing your querying journey while querying, which is why—at the end of the day—it’s a personal choice. You must weigh the risks and rewards for yourself to decide how you want to interact in that conversation.
Personally, I’m more comfortable with long-form writing. I enjoy blogging and connecting with readers via my newsletter. I feel like those two formats give me time to process and consider my feelings/options (rather than posting live reactions on Twitter or Facebook). I also have a close-knit group of writer friends who are or have been in the trenches, so I have a safe space to go to when I want to celebrate or need advice. The idea of posting “I got a full request” or “I didn’t need that rejection today” on an open forum gives me the heebies jeebies. But seeing others doing it doesn’t bother me a bit. I think it’s pretty awesome actually.
Transparency is a good thing. Not everyone has access to the whisper network (or even knows there is one.) The folks who are sharing openly are breaking down that barrier. I also don’t see why it should deter agents.
Agents are looking for a good fit for their particular list and style. Hearing another agent rejected a work shouldn’t be a deterrent on its own. Agents reject for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes the book isn’t the right fit for their list or they have no editorial vision. Maybe they ultimately didn’t vibe with the author on the phone call, whether that be career goals or IP connections or anything really.
A rejection alone doesn’t say anything about the piece or the author. Not even a handful of rejection does.
Granted, that’s not to say that some agents wouldn’t see sharing openly as a red flag. Everyone is going to have their own opinion and stance about what should and should not be talked about on certain forums, so I definitely recommend proceeding with caution.
If a new writer today asked me what I think they should do, I would tell them to sit back and observe for a while. Ask yourself what would make you uncomfortable and why. Don’t feel pressured to share any more than you want to. And know that you can change your stance at any time. That said, I would recommend leading with kindness.
It’s one thing to say you’ve received a rejection; another thing entirely to rant about rejections or make assumptions about others’ actions.
A rule I live by is typing a tweet into my Google drive and sitting with it for 24 hours before I hit send. That way, I can better discern which emotion is driving me to participate in the conversation. If I’m too emotional in any way, I don’t send it. Not because I’m trying to be a writing robot, but because I prefer to lean on positivity. I enjoy sharing the good, and I feel more comfortable sharing the bad with close friends in private. It’s about how I feel. It’s not about how many others will like or retweet me. It’s about my mental health. My journey. And that’s what’s right for me.
It may be totally different for you, and that’s okay!
Keep doing your thing. And definitely never feel deterred about calling out predatory behavior. (In fact, I recommend reporting any red-flag behavior to Writer Beware.)
So what about talking about being on sub? That may be a different story.
I’d recommend taking your agent’s advice on that one.
Controversy erupted in publishing last week when child star Jennette McCurdy released her memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died. Ever since, I’ve seen various discussions being bounced around online. Some supportive; some not.
I get it. I do. There’s lots of folks out there who cannot imagine disliking their mother so much that death feels like a reprieve. But this is one of those times that folks need to step back from their own lived experiences and listen to the voices of others.
While my mother was a supportive, nurturing person, she definitely had her faults—faults that eventually led to her overdose and untimely death. There were many other women who entered my life after her death that also had major faults. When I set out to write a middle grade verse novel about my mom’s death, I made it a point to include more than one female character who was not supportive and, in fact, discouraging.
Media all too often shows moms and women as naturally nurturing people when many aren’t. Unfortunately, many, many children are abused by their mothers. But when we show abuse in media, we tend to lean on physically abusive men, alcoholic men, absentee men, etc. We rarely acknowledge moms can do the same thing. For that reason alone, Jennette McCurdy’s book is resonating with a lot of folks.
These types of stories have been going unseen for a long time. I myself had beta readers tell me I should add more positive female figures to my book (though there already are two. I didn’t exclude positivity altogether, but it certainly was not my focus).
My relationship with women from a young age was unhealthy. It took me a long time to understand my trauma and how it unfolded in my personality. It took me even longer to find female role models and friendships that I felt safe relying on. And though I know I’m not alone in that, publishers and directors alike tend to shy away from stories involving negative depictions of mothers and motherhood. (The most popular mom trope we get is the burnt out mom who wants to go out for a night on the town with her mom friends. Usually this appears in a comedy of some sort. Trying to pursue a drama? Good luck.)
Granted, I’m not saying stories with depictions of abusive moms don’t exist.They do, but sparsely, and they tend to be in the adult sphere of entertainment, including Jennette McCurdy’s recent release.
I’m making a call to publishers to have more books where moms aren’t perfect in kidlit fiction.
One of the main reasons I set out to write my novel-in-verse about my mother was because of what happened to me at the bookstore when I was a kid. Shortly after she died, I found myself lost amongst the kidlit bookshelves, unable to find anything that I could relate to anymore. There were no stories about addiction or grief stories about losing moms…and so, I ended up in the young adult section at 11, where I found One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies by Sonya Sones. I immediately felt seen.
I promised myself right then and there I’d write my story for 11-year-olds like me, and that it would go in the middle grade section. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that it ended up being a novel-in-verse, too. But that’s a story for another day.
I’m in the middle of querying it right now, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed about my pending fulls, but regardless of where my story ends up, I hope publishing is taking note of people’s reactions to Jennette McCurdy’s book.
Moms aren’t perfect. They can, in fact, be our biggest adversary. By showing that through storytelling, we can help empower readers to recognize that in their own lives.Who knows? They may even find the strength and resolve to share their own stories with the world one day.
A few weeks ago, I was querying when I kept coming across agent after agent who was closed to submissions except from those who they’ve met at conferences. Below that, a list of conferences was provided, where a writer could go and purchase a ticket (often in the hundreds), and then an additional ticket to pitch them (somewhere between $50 and $200 extra).
I almost went on a Twitter rant about accessibility and paywalls, but decided against it.
Then I saw this:
Of course discourse followed, many of whom were against the offering. But honestly? It feels a little hypocritical to me. Or, rather, willfully ignoring the overall bigger issue here.
There are lots of ways to pay-to-play in traditional publishing, and it was only a matter of time before it got egregious.
The traditional publishing landscape has always had issues–nepotism, lack of accessibility, etc.–but what I find the most frustrating is how contradicting the landscape can seem to a new writer.
One of the first pieces of advice writers will hear is that money should always be flowing to the author. Agents shouldn’t be charging reading fees, editors shouldn’t be charging packaging fees, etc. However, we have created an environment where there’s exclusive conference pitching, MSWL’s e-consultations, and the freelance hiring of editorial staff and agents for query/manuscript critiques.
As someone who works in library programming where our speakers are often literary agents, editors, and authors, I understand that we all need to make money here, but we’ve largely ignored how this environment has confused up-and-coming writers–many of whom fall prey to scams because of it. A more common issue I’m seeing, though, isn’t necessarily writers falling for scams, but rather writers feeling obligated to pay-to-play. In fact, I have been one of those writers before. I think most writers have at some point. How could you not, when you keep hearing success stories from those who could afford that one conference, service, or MFA program? The odds feel stacked against you. And the truth is, they are.
Networking is an essential role in any business, and networking—more often than not—costs money and time.
This reality is why so many turn to buying opportunities. In fact, I’ve blogged about one conference I personally attended when I was not in the financial place to do so (but why I didn’t regret it). You can read that piece here: How Writing Conferences Can Surprise You
I was so desperate to move up in my writing career that I sacrificed my health, wealth, and other well-being for a measly chance at talking to somebody–anyone, really. I didn’t end up with an agent, but I did find some of my best writer friends that I still have to this day. I don’t regret it for that reason. But I haven’t paid that much to attend a conference since. I just can’t justify it. Not when querying is free. In fact, I got my first agent through the slush pile. Not at a fancy conference. Not through a consultation. A free, one-page query I workshopped with fellow writers I found online. (Again, for free.)
This is why I tell newer writers that conferences/meetings are great, but not to spend money if you are struggling. Querying is FREE. There are lots of free resources and opportunities, including scholarships.
We also have free writing and publishing classes at The Story Center, open to anyone in the world. You do not have to have a Mid-Continent Public Library card to use our services or attend our programs.
Speaking of libraries, if you have access to a library near you, you may have free craft books and publishing resources that you can check out.
These resources are great to help any writer begin their publishing journey.
You can also apply for scholarships funding memberships and conferences. Many don’t know that you can also volunteer your way into a space. It never hurts to message the conference manager and ask what your options are.
That said,I’m not asking agents/writers/editors to not charge money for critiques or pitch opportunities. What I am asking for is a greater focus on accessibility and affordability.
If you’re only going to be open to those who can attend conferences, make sure you’re contributing to conference scholarships. If you’re often sharing your services, make sure you’re sharing free writing blogs/tips you see that you think your followers will find helpful. You may consider doing a giveaway every once in a while.
On a larger scale, we need to be advocating for publishers to pay their editors a living wage. We need agents/writers to make a living wage, too. That way, we’re not all side hustling ourselves into a pay-to-play model only few can benefit from.
Most importantly, we need to be championing free resources more often.
We need to make sure everyone feels welcome in the traditional publishing landscape, not just those who can pay.
That fact can feel pretty staggering some days. Obviously, more so when the anniversary comes up than other times of the year. But alas, here we are, standing at a time of reflection.
Back in 2017, I really enjoyed July Lightning’s book release, but it felt like it was time for a change. After a little research and some time off, I decided I wanted to pursue traditional publication. First step, get an agent. (Okay, so actually, the first step was to write a book I could query, but you know what I mean.)
I set off with high hopes. I queried a young adult fantasy in 2018, resulting in 15 fulls but no offers of rep, and then I queried a young adult sci-fi/fantasy mashup in 2019, resulting in representation. I worked with that agent for two years, before she left the industry. Now I’m searching for representation again. And just like that, five years have passed me by.
Some days, I don’t know how I feel about that.
I’ve had my days where I wonder if I made a huge mistake. Maybe I should’ve continued to indie publish or pursue self-publishing instead. But I remind myself of the successes I’ve had, too.
Since my last book release, I was invited to be a featured author at three different Barnes & Nobles for the Teen Book Fest. I spoke at Wizard World Comic Com and the first-ever LitUP Festival in Kansas City. I was later featured in a Local Author Fair for Mid-Continent Public Library. I had two audiobooks that released in 2018. I was invited to speak at Johnson County Library, the MLA conference, Ray County Public Library, Dearborn Library, Northern Hills Christian Academy, and Kearney High School. I was interviewed for Space and Time Magazine and SIMPLYkc Magazine. I also taught numerous classes. (I now teach Starting a Writing Project for The Story Center twice a year.) I also had the utmost joy of teaching How to Write a Series for the SCBWI KS/MO Middle of the Map Conference and at the Midwest Romance Writers’ meetup. I blogged for Jane Friedman.
Somehow, over time, I went from applying as a mentee in Pitch Wars to becoming a mentor twice in a row–one of our mentees got a six-figure book deal and the other just signed with an agent. I am currently mentoring for SCBWI KS/MO. I was also lucky enough to score a mentorship myself, with Parker Peevyhouse through Science Fiction Writers of America.
I’ve learned a lot over these past five years, and though I didn’t get a book deal out of the hard work I put in, I learned invaluable lessons that I’ve taken with me into the future.
When I look at my writing today, I see growth. I’ve tried new age categories and genres that I never thought I’d pursue, and I love the work that came out of it. Most importantly, I’ve made friends. (I even went on a writing retreat, where we picked apples!) With all my new connections and friendships, I’ve beta read and edited numerous books that have now gone on to get traditionally published. A few of my indie clients have won amazing awards. I love to celebrate their success.
Somewhere in all of that, I learned the most important truth about publishing:
Not everything is about getting an agent or landing a book deal.
Sometimes, the journey is about joy. That was one of the reasons I released the Tomo trilogy on Wattpad for fun. I hated to see it just sitting on my laptop doing nothing since it lost its publisher. Now it’s fun to hear from old readers catching up and new readers just now discovering it.
More than ever, I truly enjoy writing my next pieces and sharing them with my beta readers (and sometimes my newsletter subscribers)! It’s very encouraging that I’m still asked when my next novel will come out. I wish I could tell everyone that date. But I don’t know.
Five years is a long time. That said, I often forget the fact that 2 years of this has been in the midst of a pandemic. I also put a lot more energy into my day job, and worked my way up through three different positions in the library. Now I work in storytelling all day and have a consistent, steady paycheck that allowed me to get out of student loan debt, buy a safer car and a house, get married, and, most recently, begin a family with my husband.
My life has flourished in many ways.
But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t depressing when I see folks talk about how long they had to query before they got a book deal (and it was only 2-3 years). I’ve been out here writing seriously for over a decade. My first novel came out in 2007, but my first modern book released in 2013.I’m coming up on the ten-year anniversary of Minutes Before Sunset, and that hurts some days.
I still love that sword-yielding, Midwest paranormal romance more than I can say.
Sometimes I pick it up just to remind myself of what I’m capable of producing.
The truth is, though, I may never get another agent, let alone a book deal.
But what else would I be doing with my freetime?
I love writing. I (mostly) enjoy the pursuit of publication, and when I don’t, I put it down for a few days, weeks, or even months. And that’s okay, too.
I could give up. Or I could keep trying and enjoy the ride.
Right now, I currently have a few fulls of my middle grade verse novel out with agents who are giving me a shot, I am *this* close to querying my historical fantasy–the same novel that won the Authoress’s Secret Agent contest–and I have two other novels completely written that I’ve never queried either. Not to mention a handful of outlines and half-written projects that I could tackle any day.
If I decide to self-publish or indie publish one day, those manuscripts will be there. But I’m not ready to give up.
I want to keep trying, so I will–even if it takes another five (or more) years.
The second trimester is known as the best trimester, when most women get their energy back and glow.
Mine started out terrible.
I got COVID-like symptoms. Though I tested negative, it was still pretty scary being sick and pregnant. I promised myself I’d stop Googling things that week. Getting sick also made my morning sickness horrible. If that’s not bad enough, I learned that getting sick while pregnant means twice as long as a recovery time. What should’ve lasted a few days lasted a little over two weeks. Our cat Boo Boo’s health started to go downhill too… He unfortunately passed away shortly after. It is a lot dealing with loss and grief while simultaneously creating life.
Writing? Yeah right.
I was a mixture of puke and tears.
It was also uncomfortable not wanting to share with folks what was going on with me while not having a reason to tell them I wasn’t making writing progress. I spent most of my time querying and beta reading for friends instead. During that time, I did tell my boss at work and my dad and stepmom. I told my best writing friend shortly after, too. Then, I found out we were having a little girl. Having people to talk to helped a lot, but I definitely started having a lot more anxiety in this trimester. I didn’t get a magical baby bump or feel the baby move as early as others. Once that started happening, it felt a little easier.
To be honest, I spent as much time as possible relaxing. Life is about to get crazy, right? You’d think I’d want to get as much writing done as possible, but I just didn’t in the first half of my second trimester. I wanted to enjoy time with my husband and get our house where we want it to be.
That said, I set a goal of revising my historical fantasy and getting it ready for querying before baby girl arrives. And that’s it. If I get more done, great. But I think querying two novels this year is more than sufficient.
We also started putting together the baby’s room, which was my previous office. There’s a mixture of emotions of creating a space for your future daughter while simultaneously giving up a space you had for yourself. (I share this thought even though a few people have scoffed at me for doing so, but alas, I like to be honest.) The weather also started to get nice and my favorite type of exercise is my trampoline, so it was really depressing seeing my trampoline out back but not being able to use it. I got lawn furniture instead so I could still sit outside and enjoy the nice weather.
Honestly the first half of my second trimester was depressing and lonely, and it’s hard to admit that. The 20-week scan is what I kept crossing my fingers about. Once we got the all-clear, I felt a lot better about everything.
The second half of my second trimester was a lot more uplifting and fun.
I finally got that boost of energy everyone talks about. With it, I hit a stride in my historical fantasy and figured out what was wrong with the third act for the first time in four years. (It never takes me this long to finish a manuscript. I actually finished writing it four years ago, but I never pursued it, because other publishing opportunities kept pulling me away. I’ve finally gotten back to it and giving it the time it deserves.) If you remember my last post – Writing (And Working) While Pregnant: First Trimester – I obviously changed gears from my YA paranormal back to revising my adult historical.
That said, I took a babymoon the week of my birthday, and that helped my mood a lot. Though my doctor didn’t want me traveling, we visited a lot of local restaurants we’ve always wanted to try out and spent a day at the lake. It was really nice. And definitely boosted that boost of energy I already had. Returning from my vacation, I actually finished my historical fantasy revision! Honestly, it sometimes felt like that would never happen. I’ve worked on this novel on and off for so long. But this time, I’m finally going to query it and give it a shot. Now I’m in the polishing phase. One more read-through to make sure all my i’s are dotted and my t’s are crossed. The good news is that my query package is already put together, and I already have an agent waiting for the full!
When I’m not working on that revision or at my day job, I am prepping for the baby, and her room is starting to have the theme…It’s Under the Sea…with lambs and bunnies. (In case you want to know how terrible I am at thematic design.) My husband and I started flipping through baby names and looking at baby things. Buying baby items was fun and so was feeling the first flutters of baby squirming around. I finally told everyone, too.
I’m polishing my historical fantasy with the hopes that the book is in tip-top shape before little girl arrives. And maybe, just maybe, if I can muster any energy at all, I’ll send out my first batch of queries while on maternity leave. (Maybe sooner!)
Usually, I am outlining a new idea and drafting another while revising a third. Right now, I’m just revising, and that’s okay. I still have fulls pending with agents on my middle grade verse novel, and I have two other books completely written (not to mention more ideas outlined than I can handle.) I’m letting everything rest for now. Polishing my historical and beta reading for friends is the only thing on my writing life to-do.
Heading into my third trimester, I am signed up for the baby care/delivery classes and looking forward to a baby shower with friends and family. And, of course, baby girl is set to arrive in late September. Maybe I’ll get an offer of rep, too? (A writer can dream.)
Before you freak at the title, please know that the point of blogging titles is to get you here, and now you’re here, so voilà.
That said, I really do believe writing a book can be a waste of time. Why is that such a controversial thing to say?
I know that the publishing industry loves the sentiment of “every book teaches us something new about our writing!” And though that may be true, that doesn’t mean the time and effort we put into the project was equivalent to the lesson learned. It might not have been worth your time. There are, in fact, other projects you could’ve been pursuing with that time that might have had better results.
Saying that shouldn’t be controversial.
I’ve personally felt like I’ve wasted time on a project before (and recently). From late 2020 to late 2021, I worked on a science fiction novel for adults that just wasn’t working. I rewrote it three times with my agent at the time, before deciding enough was enough. I put it down. I haven’t opened it since, and I don’t miss it at all. I don’t even want to think about it.
Sure, there were parts of it I loved. I mean, it was monsters in space. Who couldn’t have fun with that? The world building was interesting. My main character had dynamic qualities. But the manuscript lacked focus. Besides the fun pitch, I couldn’t really tell you what I was trying to do or why I was trying to do it. Maybe I can’t now because I’ve done my best to forget the experience so that I could move on. (Leaving projects unfinished once I’ve decided to pursue them is hard for me! It wasn’t easy to trunk it.) However, I also believe it was a project that lacked focus at its core. In fact, I started writing it as a rage piece. It was just supposed to be a place I went when I was angry to get out my frustrations. I never intended to pursue it. At some point, though, I convinced myself I should and, honestly, I really regret it. I not only regret the time I spent, but I feel guilty for all the beta readers who I brought on to try to help me with the work, including my agent at the time. I feel like I failed them and myself. Not because I eventually said no, but because I didn’t do so sooner.
Instead of spending the year writing a piece that ultimately fizzled out, I wish I had spent my time cultivating a new project. I could’ve written my novel-in-verse earlier on, or I could’ve already finished the revision of my historical fantasy (which is what I’m working on now). I’ve since written an adult fantasy and started a YA novel-in-verse, as well as a YA horror story I absolutely love. All of these projects are going 1000% more smoothly than my sci-fi ever did.
That said, there were some lessons (I think) I learned:
Three POVs is too much for me right now. I love writing two POVs. Both of my published series are written in alternating POVs with the love interests. It’s my jam. That said, I’ve written numerous novels with one POV. Two aren’t always necessary. Three just got out of control.
Too many plot twists is too many plot twists. Enough said.
Same with betrayals/switches in alliances. I had wayyyy too many of them.
Blending sci-fi and fantasy tropes can be awesome, but it can also be really hard! I should’ve been better about owning which genre my book would sit best in and leaning into those elements more.
I acknowledge I learned a few things. But I think I learned these lessons early on in the process. I could’ve stopped a few months in, instead of dragging the book out for a whole year. Maybe I had a harder time discerning lessons earlier on since we were in the midst of a pandemic. But I’m much happier now that I’ve moved on and tackled other projects. Still, I keep regretting all the time/energy/stress I put into that sci-fi (and I’m a little paranoid I’ll do it again). I keep checking in with myself and where I’m at with my current projects. I keep questioning my intensions and my chances of success. If anything, I recognize that I lost some of my confidence writing that book, yet another reason for regret.
Right now, I feel like I wasted a lot of time and energy writing that book. Granted, that doesn’t mean my opinion won’t change one day, but I’ve felt this way for half a year now.
But, Shannon, you might say, don’t you learn something from every book you write?
Yeah, I learned not to waste my time.
P.S. Usually, I post on the first and third Monday of the month, but since the first Monday next month is July 4, I will share my next post on Monday, July 11. Enjoy the holiday and be safe!