The Funniest, Strangest, and Creepiest Topics you have Googled

For everyone that has been eagerly awaiting, Take Me Tomorrow, Fiction Friday released a HUGE chuck of Chapter One, and you can read it today by clicking here. It includes fan art, inspired by that particular scene.

I also wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who came to the Facebook Event Nightmares, Dreams, Fantasies, and Visions yesterday afternoon. I had a lovely time speaking with everyone LIVE! But I especially want to thank author, Lisa Klass. Please visit her website to read excerpts from her novels, including her latest novels in the Baby Girl series.

Today, I wanted to have a little fun. A few weeks ago, I shared The Top 10 Seriously Awkward Conversations I’ve Had When People Hear I’m a Writer, and it got me to thinking about something else that I have happen to me on a regular basis. If you have a blog, then you know how the Dashboard page works. It delivers yours stats, tells you how many views you received, and even explains what viewers have Googled in order to find your website.

So I am sharing the funniest, strangest, and creepiest topics people have Googled to find my website, and I’m responding to them.


“hilarious bad attitude” – Does this describe me or something?

“twelve nerds” – Just one actually. Me.

“Shannon a. Thompson is a fallen angel” – Stop it. You’re making me blush.

“shannon tatum in magic mike” – I think you mean Channing. You must have been super disappointed when you found me.


“shannon thompson june 23 birthday” – Um…Yes. My birthday is coming up. Thank you for remembering. I think?

A new picture of Bogart in the Thompson household for the searcher.
A new picture of Bogart in the Thompson household for the searcher.

“pictures taken at the thompson house w bogart” – You really love my cat as much as I do.

“Shannon Thompson bikini pic” – Please. Don’t.

“real pussy needed in life.” – You…You are quite vulgar. So are you, Google.


“actors who end up working retail” – I’m not an actor. And I’ve never worked in retail. But okay. (Fun fact: I did work in a sport’s bar for four years.)

“shannon ann Thomason” – Shannon Ashlee Thompson? (Yes, “Ashlee” as in “Ashlee Simpson.”)

“shannon thompson had two kids by 18” – nope. I don’t have any kids. I just have cats.

Help Wanted:

“what we need in snowstorm” – probably a jacket. And a shovel. Maybe some apple cider.

“need to read the first paragraph of extremely loud and incredibly close by jonathan safran foer” – Ah! One of my favorite books. Here’s a link to Amazon to preview the novel.

“is there alot of blood and gore in looper?” – Toward the end, yes.

“can i write something about me in a blog?” – Yes, you can. You now have my permission.

My Favorite:

“i told someone to follow their dreams” – You go! You’re the best!

Seriously, Google. I do appreciate the traffic, but why? I honestly don’t want to waste people’s time anymore than they want me to. (And – as much a I enjoy awkward moments – creepy moments are just…creepy.) I love blogging, and this is actually one of the aspects of blogging that causes a great amount of giggling. If you’re a blogger, do you have any moments like this?


22 thoughts on “The Funniest, Strangest, and Creepiest Topics you have Googled

    1. I try to pay attention since it can help me figure out which SEO terms help traffic and which ones don’t. That being said, I’ve never used any of the above terms as SEO tags, so I have no idea what happened there. lol

  1. I feel a little jealous, now; on the (admittedly rare) occasions that someone has found me via Google, it’s always something mundane (My name, the name of one of my books, or “zombies” being the common ones.)
    Now I have to try to convince my friends to play a game of “What’s the oddest thing you can type into Google that leads you to me?” It’ll be somewhat like the “Find Hitler” YouTube game, only less rewarding… hmmm. XD

  2. The funny stuff we google.
    I was reviewing a book set in Scotland called Lingerie Wars and I wanted an image of to go with the review….so I googled “erotic kilt”. That was a mistake. Let me just say the answer to the age old question awaits and it is frightening.

  3. Looking through and most of mine are so boringly normal. Did find some odd ones though:

    ‘forward messages to know the lovers name’- Uh . . . no idea.

    ‘short erotic poem after making love for the 1st time’- amazingly specific and unclear as to what I have to do with it.

    ‘fancy way to say evil’- I assume it involves a British accent.

    ‘warthog legends’- I should see if I ever wrote a poem about Pumbaa.

    ‘pony’- Never did get that for my 6th birthday.

    ‘where did Patton Oswalt meet his wife?’- The mind boggles here.

    ‘Kristen Stewart’- Well that’s just plain rude and insulting.

    1. Lol! That is funny. I tried searching a few of mine to see if any articles popped up, and a couple did. (Like, I reviewed Looper.) But most of them I couldn’t figure out.

  4. These are hilarious, I just looked at mine, I did an article in the first few months of my blog, “similarities between Lord Voldemort and Hitler” It surprises me how many people search that or Hitler and get my blog.
    The one I am really confused at is “Kea Alwang” I have no idea how that got to my blog. And “Dangerous book for boys bow and arrow” not sure what I have written that makes any sense for this.
    But thanks I will keep an eye out now, it’s fun

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