Like most people, I love to laugh. I find laughter to be one of the most relaxing, fun, and often enlightening side effects our emotions contain, and today’s post allows us to experience that laughter all over again – all while discussing a relevant and relatable topic. Writing every day is a popular goal in the writing community, and writer, Dan Pawlowski, is showing just how that can be done in an enjoyable way. He’s also a fellow Jayhawk, so a huge ROCKCHALK goes out to Dan and all KU alumni today.
#MondayBlogs: Grocery Lists with Adjectives
They say if you want to be a writer you need to write every day. The “they” in question is anyone who ever actually got published, so who am I to argue?
If you have a day job, this becomes a challenge. Add a long commute on top of that and it becomes extremely difficult. I work at a job that has an average round trip commute time of two hours, and my normal workday is at least nine and a half hours. Factor in average guy prep time to reach acceptable levels of hygiene and my day is close to thirteen hours. To write every day I have to get creative. Any chance to use a pen or pencil has to be taken advantage of and exploited past the bounds of normal convention. For example, who said grocery lists had to be boring? “It was a dark and stormy night when the pork chops arrived home with their friends the green beans and applesauce. They had planned a relaxing evening but they had come home to discover their neighbors the potatoes lying cooked in their front yard in a pool of butter and parsley.” Sure, it’s a circuitous way of noting to pick up pork chops, bean greens, applesauce and butter for the potatoes on the way home, but it works.
I find that comment cards are a great opportunity to flex ones literary skills, and since I write fiction, it’s also a great source of fun. “My husband Ralph and I had come to your restaurant to repair our relationship but the years of philandering had done their damage. Ralph was constantly paranoid that your efficient but cute waiter Mario was trying to hit on me as he served us a marvelous vintage of red wine. By the time the Chicken Kiev arrived our relationship was beyond repair but the chicken was excellent. P.S. Have Mario give me a call.”
Frequently, some group or another has often accosted me on the street wanting my opinion on some topical subject. I only stop for the ones that require a written response. You can spot them because they work in twos and one of them is dragging around multiple clipboards.
“Would you like to fill out this short survey on our downtown mall?”
“Is there a comments section?”
“Then give me a clipboard and step aside?”
“Um, ok. Here you go sir.”
I go through the check boxes like a compulsive shopper on black
Friday and grab a piece of sidewalk when I hit the comments section.
“To the casual observer it would appear that the man was meandering aimlessly through the downtown mall. Perhaps he was looking to fill an empty void with shiny baubles. Perhaps he was lonely and wanted to experience something other than the four walls of his humble abode. In truth, his was a more nefarious purpose. He was here hoping for the inspiration needed to develop new characters for his next novel. The series had grown stagnant and was in serious need of rebooting. He found that people watching in eclectic locales provided the stimulation he needed. He also found a nice towel set at ‘Bed, Bath and Beyond’.”
Random opportunities such as these rarely offer enough time and space for character and plot development so do not expect any requests for a sequel. They do offer a chance to squeeze some writing into a hectic schedule and give you a fighting chance of achieving your goal to write every day.
On the way to graduating from the University of Kansas with a degree in Computer Science, Dan Pawlowski had seriously entertained becoming a writer but he believed his writing paled in comparison to others in a sophomore writing class. Deciding he needed more life experiences before he could achieve success he set aside the notion for later.
Flash forward 15 years and quite a few life experiences later and Dan had decided that he had enough scars to become a good writer. After several writing classes , posing the question “Where was a certain president during his national guard service,” mixing in some time travel and satire and his first book “Fortunate Son” was born.
When not working his day job Dan is looking for representation for “Fortunate Son” and is working on his second novel “Persecution Complex”. He also continues to write every day and contributes to his blog “The Sound of Laughter”
Want to be a guest blogger? I would love to have you on! I am accepting original posts that focus on reading and writing. A picture and a bio are encouraged. You do not have to be published. If you qualify, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
7 thoughts on “#MondayBlogs: Grocery Lists with Adjectives”
Thank you for the wonderful intro Shannon! Rock Chalk!
Thank you for being on today! Loved your post.
Entertaining, useful, and I love the idea of messing with those survey people.
Hmm. I might have to try this one.