Romance sells. This is a proven publishing fact. Though that doesn’t mean you should add romance to your novel just to add it, romance is quite popular in ANY genre, and let’s be real, love is everywhere. The chances of writing a book with no one (not even a side character) falling in love or being in some sort of relationship is pretty slim. Think of your own family and friends. Someone is going through something. Which is why love is so relatable. It might also be why we love reading about love. So, how do we write about love?
Like any topic, there are a million ways to write about love, but since I know you have a million more articles to read, I’m only giving out two quick tips to keep in mind when developing a relationship for your characters. But first, I want to get one stereotype out of the way, a stereotype we’ve all loved to hate. That’s right. I’m talking about Insta-love.
A note on Insta-Love:
I use the term “love” loosely here, but can we admit that insta-love happens? All. The. Time. In reality, it might be classified as infatuation or lust, but in the moment, a lot of people believe they have fallen in love at first sight or fight kiss, and technically, some people do fall in love right away. We’ve all heard stories of those couples many envy. You know, “She walked into the room, and I just knew!” It does happen, and it happens to people of all ages, but I definitely prefer when an author allows love to shape over time. This generally means love is more character-driven than plot-driven, and there are many ways to approach it.
Here is one system to think about.
1. Show How the Love Interest is Different
Why should we love them? Sure, he/she is good-looking and funny and smart, but so? Everyone is good looking and funny and smart to someone—and as an author, you’re not necessarily trying to get only one character to love another character. You’re trying to get most of your readers to also love that character, or in the least, believe in that character’s love. This is why we have to start thinking beyond types and start thinking about love in general. What makes love relatable? More love! Think about the love interest’s relationships with all of those around them—their friends, their family, etc.—and I guarantee you’ll make that character relatable. You’ll also figure out why your love interest is a standalone (and interesting) character. If that doesn’t work, try some personality questionnaires to get to know your characters better. Maybe they have a strange hobby or a secret phobia or a new dream that contradicts everything they’ve ever dreamt of before. Questionnaires will help you concentrate on the love interest as a person rather than as a love interest in your story…which is key to creating an interesting character for ANY situation. Not one character should be in a book to simply support another character. Sure, supporting characters support the main character, but much like the villain, supporting characters are still the main characters in their story. Treat them as such. Give them their own desires, interests, fears, and arcs. Love interests are never just love interests. Love interests are just characters who happen to fall in love.
2. Now Show How the Love Interest is Different Around The Lover
This is the “two characters who happen to fall in love” part. To me, it basically translates to affection, and not necessarily physical affection. I mean, emotional affection. Maybe they open up to one another about topics they’ve never opened up about before. Maybe they simply cry in front of one another. Maybe they are the ones who challenge them the most and cheer for them even harder than anyone on the sidelines. Maybe they can dance and trip and don’t feel embarrassed that they tripped together. It’s both about comfort and accepting discomfort, knowing the other will love them anyway. The juxtaposition between positive and negative emotions—while sharing them with one another—helps readers relate to the couple while also allowing the couple to relate to one another on a more intimate level. In this process, you’ll probably see where the characters draw lines with friends and co-workers and family members as well. A great exercise I swear upon is taking your protagonist’s deepest darkest secret and figuring out how they would tell everyone in their life and why the situation changes based on who they were talking to. Of course this doesn’t have to go into the book. (But who doesn’t love a good secret?)
Of course, there are many types of love—and the English language is very limiting to the definition of love—so exploring lust, infatuation, obsession, admiration, and love all come with their own complications and expectations. That’s the joy in writing stories though. Get lost in the chaos. Figure out the unknown. Push boundaries. Listen to your gut. But most of all, follow your heart.
I hear that’s the key to love, after all.
Original—Insta-Love Isn’t Instant—is very different.
~SAT
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Shannon A. Thompson 
“The chances of writing a book with no one (not even a side character) falling in love or being in some sort of relationship is pretty slim.”
I really wish more people would understand this. My books tend to focus on action and the overall adventure, but love shows growth for a character. Even if it’s a tragic relationship, most people fall for someone at some point in their life. No idea why there’s such a push to avoid romance.
I know exactly what you’re talking about! When I review books, I read a lot of book reviews where many have been disappointed by romance subplots existing at all, and I’ve never quite understood that. People are falling in and out of love all around us every single day. I cannot imagine a story where not a single character has some sort of love interest going on. That would be unnatural.
~SAT
I think somewhere along the line, a group of people started calling romance a trope. Just the idea of it became the cliche. So people rail against it being used and claim they want an original subplot. Ignores the fact that romance is a genre that can slip into all others.
That’s like calling death a trope. Or sadness a trope. Romance is a part of life. It’s how you write it that came become cliche, sure, but I don’t think writers should cut romance out of stories completely.
~SAT
I’ve actually seen that first one. Also, not killing a trope. A year ago, I simply decided that calling something a cliche is now a cliche.
LOL Too funny!
~SAT
A great post, Shannon. Lots of great advice and things to build on, thank you.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading and commenting!
~SAT
You blog is really good! Keep it up
I’m so happy to hear that. 😀 Thank you for reading and commenting.
~SAT
Reblogged this on Claudette Melanson, Author of Dark Fantasy and commented:
reblogging!